


Continuing the Voyage

by SophieD



Series: Voyages [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Doctor Who References, Evolving, F/F, Femslash, Humor, Lesbian Relationship, Romance, Sacrifice, San Francisco, Soulmates, True Love, making life changes, saying goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-09-24 03:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9697403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieD/pseuds/SophieD
Summary: It's been months since Beverly and Kathryn said good-bye.  Will a visit change their minds about each other?





	1. The Weather in Indiana

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second story in the Voyages series. It starts just after Inner Voyages ends.

Beverly sits in her office, staring at her computer screen. She’s been working hard, perhaps too hard, for several months. The natural medicine project is more difficult than she thought it would be, starting a new program completely from scratch. She’s grateful for the work. It keeps her busy. It doesn’t give her much time to think about anything else. Except late at night. That’s when her mind wanders. 

Her hands are flat on the desk in front of her. She looks down at them and they remind her of something. She slowly slides them together until her thumbs touch. She bends her fingers, tenting them, the pads pressed to the surface.

She is interrupted by a voice at the door.

“Doctor? Dr. Crusher?”

She looks up to the face of her friend.

“Do you mind?” Alyssa holds out a cup of tea.  
“Of course not. Come in. Sit down.”

Alyssa Ogawa was Beverly’s head nurse on the Enterprise. When the opportunity came up to work with her old friend and mentor on the holistic medicine project, she jumped at the chance. 

“You work too hard Doctor.”  
“Probably.”  
“You should take a vacation. I can hold down the fort for a little while.”  
“That’s very kind Alyssa but I really don’t think I have the time right now.”

Alyssa is quiet for a few seconds. She’s one of the few people who can challenge Beverly. Still, she wonders if she should.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”  
“Of course not.”  
“What is it that you’re so afraid of?”  
Beverly scowls.   
“I don’t understand?”

Alyssa takes a deep breath. It’s now or never, if she’s going to make Beverly understand.

“Are you afraid that she will say yes? Or no?”

Beverly drops her eyes back to her hands on the desk. Alyssa stands and walks to the door. She turns.

“You know I hear Indiana is beautiful this time of year.” She softly closes the door behind her.

Beverly blinks a couple of times. “I don’t know,” she whispers.

She stands at the door, trying to decide what it is she wants to do. She came but she still hasn’t decided whether or not she will knock. Or what to say if she does.   
The same impulse that brought her to the telehub brings her hand to the wood. She’s just about to turn and flee when the door opens.

There is no mistaking the woman who answers the knock. She’s older, a little bit taller, her hair is gray but she has the same strong jawline and the same bright blue eyes. The woman looks her over as well.

“You must be Beverly Crusher.”  
“Mrs. Janeway. I’m sorry to bother you.”  
“Gretchen. And it’s no bother. Come in. I’ve been dying to meet you.”

Her words deliver a stab of guilt.

“I need to apologize to you. For not calling you. I didn’t know…” She pauses, not sure how to tell the woman that she assumed she was dead.   
“There is no need. Kathryn told me all about it. There was a time that I worried that she would die alone, that I would never know how or why. I got over that a long time ago. She never told you about me?”  
“No.”  
“My daughter can be, shall we say, a bit reluctant to share the details of her life. Now come, she’s in the backyard.”

Beverly follows Gretchen through the house and out the door to the yard. She leaves her there without another word. 

Beverly scans the large yard, looking for Kathryn. She finally spies her in an area obviously set aside for a garden. Her face is completely hidden by a large brimmed hat. She watches as Kathryn covers seeds in a mound of dirt and pats it down. She doesn’t say anything and Kathryn doesn’t acknowledge her. She moves down the row a bit and plants another group of seeds. Finally she sits back on her haunches and surveys her work. She stands and wipes her hands on her pants and turns to face Beverly.

“Why are you here?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“I need to water these.”  
She goes to get a hose and sprinkles water over the dozen or so little mounds of dirt.  
“What are you growing?”  
“Feverfew.”   
“I didn’t know you were interested in herbology.”  
“I have a lot of interests.”

Kathryn puts the hose away and comes to stand in front of Beverly. She removes her hat and wipes the sweat off of her forehead, leaving a smear of mud in its wake. Beverly fights the urge to clean it off for her.

“I missed you.” Kathryn says.  
“I missed you too.”  
“Is that why you’re here? After all of these months?”  
“Yes. No. I’m not sure.”  
Kathryn smiles.  
“Well that certainly clears that up.”

Just then, they are interrupted by Gretchen who comes bearing three glasses of ice water.

“I thought you two could use a drink. Come sit.” She places the glasses on the patio table and takes a seat. Beverly and Kathryn sit as well. They don’t look at each other. Gretchen sighs.

“So Beverly, I’ve heard a lot about you.”  
“Really?” She looks at Kathryn. “I thought you didn’t talk about your life much.”  
“You are all she’s talked about for months,” Gretchen answers for her.  
“Mom!”  
Gretchen feigns innocence. “What? She came all this way to see you. The least you can do is tell her that you miss her.”  
“Mother!”  
“Fine.” She turns back to Beverly. “So tell me about your new program. Kathryn comes from a long line of farmers you know. It’s in her blood whether she chooses to acknowledge it or not.”

Kathryn shakes her head but it’s obvious that protests are not going to stop her mother. She sits and listens quietly while Beverly talks about her work.

 

When Beverly is done, Gretchen collects the empty glasses and stands. “You are staying for dinner,” she tells Beverly.  
“I would love to. If it’s OK that is.”  
“It wasn’t a question.” She turns and heads back into the house.  
Kathryn smiles. “She calls it the ‘farmhouse rule’. No one leaves without a meal.”  
“My Nana was the same way. She loved to feed people.”  
“You got that from her.”  
“I did.”  
“Well, I need to go take a shower, get cleaned up. If you want, she would love some help in the kitchen.”  
Beverly nods. “I would like that.”  
“Just don’t let her badger you too much about your personal life.”

While they work, Beverly tells Gretchen about her young life. Gretchen is fascinated by her time on Arvada 3 and her experience with herbal medicines.   
“I think I would have liked your grandmother,” she says.  
“And she would have liked you. You have a lot in common.”  
“I will take that as a compliment. Do you mind finishing, I need to go talk to Kathryn for a minute.”

Over dinner, the conversation stays light. They talk about Beverly’s and Gretchen’s work, Kathryn’s new hobby, current news, things that have no emotional undertone. As Gretchen cleans up the dishes, she turns to Beverly.

“You’ll stay then.”  
“No. I don’t think so. I just wanted to say HI, make sure Kathryn was still doing OK, a check-up if you will.”  
“Again. Not a choice.” She gets up and leaves the room.

“You don’t have to stay. Not if you don’t want to. My mother can be…”  
“Pushy? Aggressive? Opinionated?”  
“You’ve met her before?”  
“Do you want me to stay Katie?”  
“Do you want to stay?”

They hear a loud sigh from the doorway. They turn to see Gretchen standing there, watching them.

“For gods’ sake you two! It’s not that hard. Stop playing this silly game and get it over with.”  
“Mother!”  
“Don’t you ‘mother’ me! You think I can’t see what’s going on here? You love her. She loves you. What else do you need to say?”  
“It’s not that easy!” Kathryn protests.  
“The hell it isn’t!”  
“Mother!”  
“Fine! You do it your way. I’m late for my book club meeting.”  
“It’s Tuesday mother. Your meeting isn’t until Thursday.”  
“Oh. Well then it must be my sewing club night.”  
“You don’t sew.”  
“Fine. I’m going to a holomovie. Just take the damn woman upstairs already!”


	2. Exploring the Benefits of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn tells Beverly about her new hobby

Beverly and Kathryn watch Gretchen leave in awkward silence. Beverly notices red blotches on the back of Kathryn’s neck. She pokes one with her finger and Kathryn flinches.

“A sunburn? You should know better.”  
Kathryn shrugs. “I’ve got some aloe in the greenhouse. You can rub some on it later.”  
Beverly catches the teasing suggestion in her voice. She tries to change the subject.  
“So this new hobby of yours? You’re enjoying it?”

“I am.” She gets up to make some tea. She talks as she works. “There was a time when Chakotay and I were stranded for several months. I finally resigned myself to it and discovered that I really could enjoy a simple life, growing my own food, taking care of a home. Of course, I went back to my old life, forgot all about it. I found I had plenty of time on my hands here and your interest in natural medicines got me thinking. I really enjoy putting my hands in the earth, watching something grow.”

She brings two mugs of tea and sits back down. Beverly takes hers. She sniffs it and takes a sip with a furrowed brow.

“Do you like it?” Kathryn asks. “It’s my own creation. Supposed to be a digestive aid.”  
Beverly takes another sip. “I’m not sure yet. It’s different. Peppermint for sure. Licorice root? And something earthy.”  
“Echinacea.”  
“And spicy?” She asks, licking her lips.  
“Um hmm. Cayenne. Keeps the blood flowing. Some honey for sweetness. All in a green tea base.”  
Beverly takes another sip. “It’s different, for sure, but I think I do like it.”  
Kathryn smiles. “I’m glad.”

“You’re serious about this then?”  
“I am. In my heart, I’m a scientist. Did you know I was a science officer? I got so caught up in my career, being the captain of Voyager, there wasn’t time in my life for anything else. But this is all about change, reinventing myself. It turns out that meant going back to my roots, so to speak.”  
“Math and physics were my thing, I never gave much attention to the natural sciences but, when you think about it, mixing substances to achieve a certain result, it’s really just a different kind of chemistry. I set up a small lab in the basement.” 

Beverly smiles as Kathryn’s eyes light up with excitement.

“I’ve been playing around with extractions and combinations, much more than just tea. Of course I’ve just started, nothing new to add to the field. I’m just getting my bearings with it all, but I find it fascinating. I’m having so much fun Beverly! I really am. I don’t even miss Voyager, I mean I miss my crew, my friends. I thought that I would be miserable, not being out there, exploring. I’m not though. I’m happy. Really really happy.”  
Beverly smiles.  
“I am so happy for you Katie. I really am. And very impressed.” She holds up her cup then takes another sip. Kathryn smiles like a proud parent.

“I think I could be happy living this life. But under only one condition.”  
“And what is that?” Beverly asks, though she already suspects the answer.  
“I want you in my life, Beverly. I don’t know what you want. I’m hoping you came here because you want me too.”  
“I..I..what, you said about not feeling complete? That’s why I came here. I needed to know,” she wipes the tears from her eyes. “Katie, I want you in my life. I love you. I need you. You fill the missing piece inside of me too.”

Kathryn grabs her and pulls her into a tight hug. “I missed you so much. I think every day I missed you more. I love you.”   
They release each other only to come together in a kiss. It starts soft and sweet but quickly escalates into something more desperate.”

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Kathryn whispers.  
“Yes. I think I do.”


	3. Exploring a New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens upstairs, I write about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday but the gift is for you. Enjoy!

Beverly and Kathryn stand in the middle of the kitchen, sharing an intimate kiss before Kathryn takes her lover’s hand and leads her up the stairs to her room. She shuts the door behind her and looks at Beverly.

“I didn’t think we would ever be here again.”  
“Technically, we’ve never actually been here, at least I haven’t.” 

Her joke breaks the awkwardness and they move together with a deep kiss. Slowly, they undress each other, letting their fingers caress bare skin as it’s exposed. Kathryn walks Beverly backwards to the bed and lays her down. She stares for a second before lowering herself down on top. She starts at Beverly’s neck, kissing and nibbling her way down to her collarbone while Beverly runs her fingers up and down Kathryn’s back.

Her tongue finds Beverly’s breast, slowly circling the areola before taking the hardening nipple in her mouth. Beverly groans softly at the feel of Kathryn’s hot lips. After due attention to the other breast, Kathryn continues her journey down Beverly’s quivering body. Beverly wraps her fingers in Kathryn’s hair, pulling her to a stop.

“Katie, don’t.” Her voice is soft, more of a question than a demand.  
Kathryn pauses, she looks up and meets her eyes.

“I’m not afraid anymore Beverly. Not of you. Not of anything. I just want to make you happy. I want to know what you taste like,” her normally gravelly voice low and full of lust. “Do you want me to?”

Beverly dips her chin in assent. Kathryn lowers her face back down, burying her nose in Beverly’s naturally red hair. She takes a deep breath, the scent of Beverly’s arousal tickles a place in Kathryn’s brain and sets her whole body on fire. She runs her fingers through Beverly’s wetness then touches the tip of her tongue to Beverly. She feels Beverly's body tighten at the sensation and that gives her all of the courage she needs. She explores with her fingers and her tongue, noting the places that make Beverly jump and the ones that make her sigh. 

Slowly, she slides a finger inside, searching for the spot she knows is there. She knows she’s found it when Beverly grabs at her head, tangling her fingers in her hair. She gently massages the rough spot with her finger while she increases the speed and pressure of her tongue. At the last second, she digs her finger in and sucks. Beverly comes hard with a strangled scream, wrapping her legs tight around Kathryn’s head. Kathryn continues, moving her tongue slowly and softly until Beverly relaxes and her body stops shaking.

She crawls back up to Beverly’s head and Beverly pulls her close.  
“Merde,” Beverly mutters.  
Kathryn kisses her softly. “I told you I’ve been studying. It was time I brushed up on my anatomy.”  
“You’re a genius. A true genius. Now, shall we see if the student is as good as the teacher?”


	4. The Taste of Coffee in the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly bonds with Gretchen and that makes Katie a bit uncomfortable

Beverly wakes up to find Kathryn curled into a ball, her backside tucked into her. She smiles and leans over her sleeping lover to kiss her on the temple. Kathryn stretches out with a groan and turns over to face her.

“You’re here?”  
Beverly laughs. “Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”  
“I thought maybe it was all a dream.”  
“It was a very good dream,” Beverly whispers as they kiss.

Kathryn rolls out of bed and throws on a robe.

“I smell coffee! Do you want some?”

Beverly nods and watches Kathryn pad out of the room. She sighs with a smile on her face. She had no idea what to expect, or even really why she came. What she said last night though, about Katie filling a piece inside of her, she realizes that those impulsive words are the most truth she’s ever said. She was crazy to think that she could live without Katie. She would have though, to give Katie what she needed. She sighs again, thankful that she won’t have to think what that life would have been. 

Kathryn comes back with two cups of coffee. Beverly sits up to take hers, letting the sheets pool at her waist. Kathryn hands her the cup without a word, her eyes fixed on Beverly’s bosom. Beverly eyes her over the rim of her cup.

“You’re not very subtle you know.”  
“No?”  
“No.”

Beverly holds out her cup. Kathryn takes it and sets it on the dresser along with hers. She moves back to the bed, pushing Beverly down and falling on top of her. As they kiss, she mumbles, “I really love the taste of coffee.”

Downstairs in the kitchen, Gretchen Janeway pours herself a cup. She glances at the ceiling with a smile. She decides breakfast can wait a bit and takes her coffee to the patio.

Gretchen places plates full of eggs, ham and potatoes on the patio table as Kathryn and Beverly come down the stairs. She hands each of them a cup of coffee and steers them to their seats. Beverly takes one look at the food and protests.

“I appreciate it but I can’t possibly eat all of this.”  
“Nonsense!” Gretchen says. “You need to keep up your strength.”

Beverly is speechless and her cheeks burn bright with embarrassment. Kathryn shoots her mother a look. Gretchen just smiles as she takes her place at the table.

Beverly finally finds her voice. “It’s delicious. All of it. Thank you.”  
“It’s no trouble at all. I enjoy it. I’m just happy that you are here. Right Kathryn?”

Kathryn gives her another dirty look but doesn’t bother to answer her mother.

“So…” Gretchen tries again, “do you two have any plans for the day? Outside of the house I mean.”

Kathryn finally has had it.

“Mother! I think what Beverly and I have and do not have planned is none of your business.”  
Beverly covers her hand. “It’s Ok Katie. Really. If your mother wants the details of our sex life, I would be more than happy to share.”  
Gretchen gives her a big grin and holds her cup up. “Touché.” 

Kathryn shakes her head in disbelief and stares at her plate. 

“Actually,” Beverly says, “I was hoping Katie would show me her lab. It seems we share a common interest.”  
“I’m not sure it was quite so common,” Gretchen says. “She was completely inspired by you. She has come up with some wonderful creations though. I haven’t had a headache in weeks!”  
“Do you have headaches often?” Beverly asks, suddenly concerned.   
“No. Not really. Just stress mostly. Having Kathryn home has been a blessing for sure but I worry too. She’s always been so headstrong, so single minded in what she wants. It’s a bit disconcerting to see her rudderless.”  
“Mother, I’m sitting right here,” Kathryn protests.  
Gretchen ignores her. “I’m so glad that you’re here Beverly. Now that I’ve finally met you, I can understand. You’re good for her. You’ve inspired her and for that I am grateful. I do hope that you two can work out your differences.”  
Beverly takes her hand. “We’re working on it,” she says with a comforting smile.  
“I know you are dear. Just know that, no matter what happens, you are welcome here.”

Kathryn has finally had enough. She loudly pushes her chair back, snatches the plates off of the table and disappears into the house.

“Don’t worry. She’ll get over it,” Gretchen reassures Beverly.  
Beverly smiles. “Still, I think I should go help her.” She picks up the remaining dishes and follows Kathryn. Gretchen sits back in her chair and sips her coffee with a smile.

Beverly sets the dishes next to the sink then wraps her hands around Kathryn from behind. 

“It’s OK Katie. She doesn’t bother me. I like her.”  
“She meddles.”  
“She loves you.”  
“It’s embarrassing.”  
“Not for me. Actually, I’m quite jealous. You have someone who loves you enough to face your considerable wrath.”

Kathryn turns herself in Beverly’s arms. “My considerable wrath?”  
“Your crew tells stories.”  
“I’m sure they do.”  
“Do you want me to kiss it? Make it all better?”  
“Yes please.” She leans into Beverly. “She’s right about one thing. You do inspire me. And I do need you.”  
“And I need you…to finish up the dishes and show me that lab.”


	5. The Making of Pasta and the Self

Beverly sits on a blanket in the sun, watching Kathryn putz with her plants. They’re both lost in their own thoughts.

They spent most of the morning in the basement of the house. The lab Kathryn set up was simple but effective. She had been busy extracting tinctures and oils and combining them for a multitude of purposes. Her lab notes were extremely detailed and her work impeccable. She had the answer to every question Beverly asked and Beverly wasn’t asking easy questions. She was right that she wasn’t doing anything new. Still it was an amazing start for someone who had just stepped into the field a few months earlier. 

Now Beverly is turning it all over in her head. She has some decisions to make, about Katie and about her own life. Katie’s work gave her an idea, she just isn’t sure if it’s something she wants to bring up. Yet.

Kathryn stands and wipes her hands on her pants. She watches Beverly for a few seconds, wondering what it is she’s thinking about. She bends over to pick a piece of fruit and walks to where her friend is sitting.

“Here. Try this,” she says, holding out the fruit as she drops to the blanket next to Beverly.  
Beverly examines it. “Eggplant?” she guesses based on the deep purple color.  
“Un uh.”  
After a good sniff, Beverly takes a bite. The fruit is sweet with just a hint of something sour.  
“Mmm. That’s delicious.” Beverly says as she wipes the juice running off her chin.”  
Kathryn nods. “Talaxian tomato. Or as close to a tomato as we got in the Delta Quadrant. You should taste it in Neelix’s special pasta sauce. I wasn’t sure they would grow here on Earth but it didn’t take long to adapt it to a high phosphorus soil.”  
“I’m impressed,” Beverly says as she takes another bite.   
Before she can clean her mouth again, Kathryn leans in, “let me get that for you,” she says as she sucks the purple liquid from Beverly’s lip.   
“Delicious,” Beverly murmurs.  
“Yes you are.” She takes the tomato from Beverly’s hand and sets it aside before wrapping her arms tight and lowering Beverly to the ground.

Beverly wakes to someone gently shaking her shoulder. She squints up to see Gretchen’s face.   
“How long was I asleep?” She asks groggily.  
“Just a bit over an hour.”  
“I guess I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.”  
Gretchen smiles as she sits next to Beverly on the blanket.  
“I imagine you work much too hard.”

“Do you want to talk?”  
Beverly looks at her, puzzled.”  
“Katie went into town, something about making a special pasta for dinner.”  
“Should I be concerned?”  
Gretchen nods. “I would be.” She pushes Beverly again.  
“Who do you have to talk to?”  
“I don’t understand.”  
“I think you do. You keep everything inside. Is there anyone in your life that you can tell your secrets to?”  
“I have a cat.”

Gretchen laughs. “Cats are good at secrets. So am I. This stays between you and me. I won’t say a word to Kathryn.”  
Beverly just looks at her feet.  
“Ok. I’ll start,” Gretchen says. “What are you afraid of?”  
“You’re the second person who’s asked me that in the last couple of days.”  
“And?”  
“And I don’t know. It’s all kind of a mess.”  
“If by mess you mean that you and my daughter need to figure out how to make this relationship work then, yes, you could call it that.”  
“I suppose.”

“You don’t believe she’s happy here?”  
“Oh no. I do. I can see she’s happy.”  
“But”  
Beverly shrugs.  
“You don’t think it will last. That she’ll lose interest in all of this.” She waves her arm at Kathryn’s garden.   
“I think she’s trying to make herself into something that she isn’t.”

Gretchen takes a deep breath.  
“You know Beverly, making yourself into a martyr for love, it isn’t noble. It’s selfish.”  
Beverly looks up in surprise.  
Gretchen continues. “You’re not doing anything for her. You’re afraid, of being in a relationship, of committing your heart to someone again, that you’re going to get hurt. So you push her away, for her own good, that’s what you tell yourself. Kathryn has made real progress here these past couple of months.”  
“She told me she’s not afraid anymore.”

“Did you know that her career with StarFleet was essentially over?”  
“What?”   
Gretchen nods. “I still have my contacts. She’s not the Golden Girl StarFleet likes people to think she is. She made a lot of trouble when she went to the Delta Quadrant and when she came back. They threw her parades but, behind the scenes, there were quite a few ruffled feathers, a few careers cut short by 7 of 9’s presence. Voyager is her last commission. There will be no more ships, no promotions, just deep space mapping missions.”  
“She knows this? When?”  
“From the beginning.”  
“She never told me.”  
“She’s a very proud woman.”

Gretchen puts her hand on Beverly’s knee and uses it to lever herself up.  
“She’s not sacrificing anything Beverly. She’s adapting. To the life she wants.”  
With that, she turns and walks away.


	6. The Things We Have to Do

Beverly is sitting on the sofa in Gretchen Janeway’s living room. Her head is on Kathryn’s shoulder while Kathryn’s arm is pulled tight around her. Gretchen has just brought them two more glasses of wine and bid them goodnight. Beverly sighs deeply.

“Are you OK?” Kathryn asks softly.  
“I am. Just thinking.”  
“About?”  
“About how nice it is here. How lucky you are.”  
“How so?”  
“To have your mother still. And safe place to come back to.”  
“I’ve never thought about it that way but I suppose you’re right. And my mother…”  
Beverly laughs. “Your mother is wonderful. She cares about you, what happens to you. She wants to see you happy. There’s nothing wrong with that.”  
Kathryn kisses the top of Beverly’s head. “You make me happy.”  
“Here and now. Yes. You make me happy too.”  
“What are you trying to say Beverly?”

Beverly sits up and reaches for her wine glass. She changes the subject.

“When does Voyager return?”  
“Two weeks.”  
“And then what?”  
Kathryn shrugs. “I’m not sure.”

Beverly nods and stares into her glass.

“What about you?”  
“What about me?”  
“How long are you staying?”  
Beverly shrugs. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t planning on staying at all. Maybe another day or two. I have a lot of work to do.”  
“You work too hard.”  
Beverly laughs. “Your mother said the same thing.”  
“Then it’s probably true.”

Kathryn wraps her arm around Beverly’s shoulders and pulls her close again.

“What is it you want?” she asks.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You know what I mean. You came here for a reason. I think it was to see if what we had was real.”

Beverly shrugs.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do when Voyager comes back. But I know what I want.”  
“And what is that?”  
“I want you. If that means staying here on Earth, that’s what I’m ready to do.”  
“I won’t ask you to do that.”  
“You haven’t. It’s my decision. You think I can’t be happy. I think I can. I am. This is what I want.”  
“What will you do?”  
“I thought maybe I would talk to the Academy. Maybe teach.”  
“You’ll hate it.”  
“Maybe.”

“What if I had a different idea?”  
“I’m listening.”  
“This project, the natural medicine curriculum, it’s become more involved than I thought it would be. I haven’t had time to even think about the practical aspects. What you’ve been doing here, if you’re really serious about it, well, it gave me an idea. Would you be interested in designing the lab portions of the project? Setting it up, procuring equipment, a test garden, that sort of thing.”  
“Are you serious?”  
“I think so. Yes. Of course I will need to run it by Admiral McCrea but, she’s given me a green light to do what I want to do to get this thing up and running.”  
“And then what?”  
Beverly shrugs. “I’m not sure. Stay as an instructor? Run the labs?”   
“You’re serious?”  
“You think that would be enough?”  
“You would be enough.”  
“Katie…”  
“Fine. I’ll think about it. This is what you want?”

Beverly shrugs.

“I don’t know. It’s an idea. The rest? We’ll see. You can come visit, LuLu misses you.”  
“LuLu hates me.”  
“Keep slipping her salmon treats. She’ll come around.”  
“She told you about that? I should have known she couldn’t keep a secret.”  
“Nah, she’s good. I smelled it on her breath. When she kissed me.”  
“The hussy!”

They both laugh. Beverly tucks her head into Kathryn’s side. The humor passes.

“Tell me about StarFleet?”  
Kathryn shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell.”  
“That’s not what your mother says.”  
“My mother over reacts.”  
“I don’t think so. When we met, you told me your career was all you had.”  
“I told you my ship and crew were all I had. That was the truth. If StarFleet had found out I was sick, was even a little bit compromised, what was left of my career would have been gone too.”  
“Tell me.”

Kathryn lets her head fall back and closes her eyes.

“Nothing happened. Not really. I just had some trouble, coming home. Seven years was a long time. I chose to live by StarFleet rules, the Prime Directive and all that. But I was everything. I made all the decisions, who were friends, who were enemies, who to ally with, who to trade with. Let’s just say, I didn’t always see eye to eye with the powers that be after that.”  
“Trouble maker!”  
Kathryn laughs. “Something like that. They couldn’t take my commission or my ship, not without a good reason but I wasn’t moving up any time soon either.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. I did what I wanted, what I needed to do. I’m at peace with every decision I made.”  
“Does this have anything to do with Seven?”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“Just a guess.”

Kathryn sighs again.

“They wanted me to turn her over, give her to them to study, use her to develop weapons against the Borg.”  
“You refused.”  
“Damn right I did. I'm responsible for her but she’s not property. She’s a living being, a human no less.”  
“I thought she was StarFleet?”  
“No. I never commissioned her, not like some of the Maquis. She is a member of my crew but never a part of StarFleet. That was her intention, to join and serve, until this came up. Now? I don’t know what she’s thinking.”  
“She could do a lot of good.”  
“Then that would be her choice. Right now, she chooses to stay on Voyager. She may not be Borg any more but she has no desire to destroy them either. I told her that she didn’t have to, that she didn’t have to leave, she could stay as long as she wanted. And I told Admiral Janssen to go to hell.”  
“Good for you.”  
“Which is why I had to do what I did. I had to protect her and the rest of my crew. I had to save my ship.”  
“So why are you willing to give that up now?”

Kathryn sits up and looks at Beverly.

“If you have to ask me that, then I might as well go back.”  
“I just want you to say it.”  
“Because I’ve done all I can. I can trust Chakotay. I’ve learned that I can’t do it all myself, that I need help sometimes. Because, for the first time since we came back, I can trust myself.


	7. I'm Lovable!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly and Kathryn sort out a plan they can both live with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me. I know it's been a while since I updated. I decided to end with this chapter but, don't worry, there will be more coming either in a series of one shots or another chapter story.  
> -Sophie

Beverly rolls over, seeking warmth. She finds that heat in the curled up ball of Kathryn. With a sigh, she wraps her body around Kathryn’s body and drifts back to sleep.

She wakes again some time later when Kathryn begins to move. She rolls away and stretches to her full length. Before she can relax, Kathryn pulls her hand down Beverly’s long lean form.

  
“I love watching you do that,” Kathryn murmurs.  
“Mmm…and I love when you do that,” Beverly responds, turning into Kathryn’s touch.  
“What else do you like?” Kathryn asks, her voice husky.  
“I’ll show you…

Beverly moves closer and touches her lips to Kathryn’s.

  
“I like that too.”  
“Stop talking,” Beverly tells her as she deepens the kiss and lets her hands start to wander across Kathryn’s chest. Kathryn arches up into the touch and Beverly moves to massage her breasts. She replaces her fingers with her mouth and lets her hands move lower.  As she begins to gently stroke, Kathryn mimics her moves. She tries to speed up the pace but Beverly isn’t in the mood to be hurried. She continues to rub, kissing Kathryn softly between staggered breaths. Slowly, she pushes her fingers deep inside. Kathryn gasps softly and reciprocates the move. As she feels her body tightening itself for release, she pulls back and stares into Kathryn’s deep blue eyes. She holds herself until Kathryn shudders then lets go with a deep groan. She wraps her arms tight around Kathryn and buries her face into the other woman’s neck, trying to catch her breath.

“Beverly! You are amazing. You know that right?” Kathryn breathes.  
“So I’ve been told.”  
“Modest too.”  
“Always,” Beverly laughs.  
“Seriously though, I do love you.”  
Beverly smiles. “I know. I love you too.”  
“So stay.”  
“You know I can’t do that. I have a job.”  
“You have to go today?”  
“Yes. I should.”  
“You could commute.”  
“I would run out of transporter credits.”  
“I have plenty.”  
“Your mother wouldn’t want me living here.”

  
Kathryn laughs. “Are you kidding? She likes you better than she likes me!”  
“Of course she does. I’m lovable.” Beverly laughs along before getting serious again.  
“Really Kathryn, it sounds wonderful, to just stay here with you. But this isn’t any more real than it was before. It’s been a beautiful vacation. I’m glad I came.”  
“I am too,” Kathryn interrupts.  
Beverly continues. “I’m glad I came, I know now that what we are is real, that maybe we really could do this. I love you. More than I thought I could. I love us together. I’m just not sure that we’re ready to make it permanent. And if, when we do, I want it to be just you and me. Together.”  
Kathryn nods.  
“Just don’t wait too long.”  
Beverly smiles softly. “I told you I’m done waiting,” she says with a kiss. “And I meant that. We’ll talk now. I want to. I need to. You can come visit. Maybe we’ll take that vacation in a couple of weeks. And, if you still want, if you don’t go back to Voyager, we can talk again about that job.”  
“I’d like that,” Kathryn says.  
“Me too.” Beverly kisses her again and wraps her up in a tight hug.  
Kathryn lies still in Beverly’s arms, listening to the sound of her heartbeat. Her fingers start to move up and down Beverly’s spine and she’s pleased to hear Beverly’s breath catch.

Suddenly, the women are startled by a knock on the door. They fly apart, then start to giggle at the absurdity of their reaction. Through the door they hear Gretchen’s voice.  
“I hear you two in there! When you’re done, c’mon downstairs. Coffee is done and I’m starting breakfast in a bit.”  
“We’re coming Mom,” Kathryn responds. “We weren’t doing anything.”  
“Well that’s too bad,” Gretchen says with a smile in her voice.

Kathryn shakes her head as she rolls out of bed. She finds a robe for herself and hands one to Beverly.  
“Coffee calls,” she says, shaking her head again.

As Beverly and Kathryn take their places around the kitchen table, Gretchen places steaming mugs of fresh coffee in front of them.

  
“Haven’t you figured out what to do with a beautiful woman in your bed yet?” She teases Kathryn.  
“Mom!”  
“What?” Gretchen feigns innocence while Beverly giggles.  
Gretchen turns to her. “She any good?”  
“Mom!” Kathryn admonishes her again.  
The other two ignore her.  
“The best,” Beverly says with a mischievous smile.  
“Oh my gods!” Kathryn mutters as she drops her head to the table with a thud.  
Gretchen winks at Beverly and turns back to her old fashioned stove and begins cracking eggs into a cast iron skillet.  
Beverly leans close to Kathryn. “You are you know,” she whispers. Kathryn’s only response is to lift her head slightly and let it drop with another hollow thud.

Beverly leans back in her chair, over emphasizing her stuffed belly.  
“I don’t think I’ve eaten like that in years!”  
Gretchen laughs as she clears the table.  
“I’m sure that you will go straight to your office and forget to eat for days, so good!”  
Beverly groans out loud. “See, I told you that you wouldn’t want to live here,” she says softly. Gretchen gives her an evil eye while Beverly groans again.  
“Well, I’m going out back to pick some flowers for Beverly to take home with her,” Gretchen says. “I’ll be a while, I’m sure.” She gives Kathryn a pointed look. Kathryn just shakes her head.

Beverly shifts in her chair and her robe falls open across her lap, drawing Kathryn’s immediate attention.

  
“What?”  
“Nothing. Just that you really are a red head.”  
Beverly catches on quickly.  
“We can go upstairs and you can get a better look.” She moves again and her robe falls completely open. Kathryn licks her lips and Beverly can see the predatory look in her eyes.  
“Katie, no.”  
Kathryn shakes her head slightly as she rises. She takes one step toward Beverly and drops to her knees.  
“No! Katie NO! Not here! Your mother…”  
She doesn’t finish as Kathryn pushes her robe away and pulls her legs apart. She quickly runs her finger through her folds, pleased at how wet Beverly suddenly is. She quickly replaces her finger with her tongue and Beverly stops protesting.  
“Gods Katie. That feels good.”  
Kathryn smiles as she pushes deeper, her fingers massaging Beverly’s thighs. She alternates between deep licks and gently flicks until Beverly’s head is lolling and her breathing labored.

Gretchen comes through the back door. “Sorry, I forgot…”  
She stops short when she hears the soft moans coming from the kitchen. “That a girl Katie,” she says with a smile as she turns and heads back out into the yard.

Beverly has one hand gripping the side of the chair and the other tangled in Kathryn’s hair. She’s close. So close. But she can’t get Kathryn to give her what she wants.  
“Please,” she whispers. “Please.”

  
Kathryn slows herself even more and Beverly groans in frustration.

  
“You’re killing me Katie.”  
“Mmm. I just like to hear you beg,” Katie hums, driving Beverly even closer.  
“Anything! And if you hurry up, we’ll have time to go upstairs before I have to go.”  
“You should have said so,” Kathryn says with a smile. She gives Beverly another long lick then wraps her lips and sucks. Just as Beverly lets go, she presses hard with her tongue and Beverly cries out. She continues to massage gently with her tongue until Beverly comes down. Beverly pulls her onto her lap and kisses her.  
“Upstairs?” she asks.  
“I thought you would never ask,” Kathryn says with a mischievous smile, pulling Beverly to her feet and pushing her toward the stairs.

Kathryn and Gretchen walk Beverly to the Transport Hub. Gretchen gives her a big hug.  
“You know you’re welcome any time? Even when Kathryn isn’t here?”  
Beverly smiles. “Thank you. For everything.”  
“You’re welcome Hon. For everything.”

  
She turns to Kathryn.  
“I’ll wait for you over there,” she points to a tree across the path. Kathryn nods as she and Beverly watch her walk away.

  
Kathryn turns back to Beverly.

  
“I told you she loved you.”  
“How could she not? I told you I’m…”  
“Loveable,” Kathryn finishes for her. “Yeah, you told me.”

  
She steps close and puts her hand on Beverly’s face. “You are you know. You really are. I love you Beverly.”  
Beverly’s eyes begin to tear up. “I love you too Katie.” They share a tender kiss and a long hug.  
“Be safe,” Katie whispers.  
“You too. And call me. Ok?”  
Katie nods. “Ok.”

Another kiss and Beverly turns away. Kathryn watches her enter the hub and disappear. She wipes a tear and turns to join her mother for the walk home.

Alyssa Ogawa knocks on the door.

  
“Come.”  
“It’s good to have you back.”  
Beverly laughs. “And just in the knick of time I see,” she says, gesturing to the piles of PADDS littering her desk.

  
Alyssa fingers the flowers sitting on the small table by the window.

  
“You had a good time?”  
“I did. The weather really is beautiful in Indiana this time of year.”  
“Oh good!” Alyssa says with a smile. “I really had no idea what the weather was like.”

 

They both laugh and Alyssa turns to leave.

  
“Alyssa...”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks.”  
Alyssa smiles. “Not a problem Doc.”

FIN


End file.
